Hey there, digital hoarders and backlog collectors! It’s time to face the music – or should I say, the menu screen. If your game library were a closet, you'd be on an episode of "Hoarders: Digital Edition". Yes, we're talking about that ever-expanding, never-diminishing pile of games you swear you'll get to... someday. Welcome to the Gamepocalypse, where the only thing scarier than a Dark Souls boss is the sheer number of unplayed titles in your Steam library.

Step 1: Admit You Have a Problem

First things first, let’s admit it. You, my friend, are a digital magpie, attracted to shiny new games like we're attracted to peanut butter and pickle sandwiches. It's a thing. 

But it's okay! The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. Say it with me: "My backlog is out of control, and that’s okay." Feel better? No? Perfect, let's move on.

Step 2: The Marie Kondo Method - Digital Edition

It's time to Marie Kondo your game library. Pick up each game (figuratively, please, we don’t want any strained backs) and ask, "Does this bring me joy?" If the answer is "Eh," it's time for it to go. And by go, I mean hide from your library or, for the brave souls, uninstall. Remember, each game you let go is a digital hug for your GPU.

Step 3: The Gaming Buffet

You wouldn't eat just one type of food at a buffet (unless it's bacon, in which case, carry on), so why limit yourself to one game? Mix it up! Allocate different gaming flavors to different days. Monday for RPGs, Tactical Tuesdays, Weird Wednesdays for those games you bought at 3 AM. Variety is the spice of life, and it might just keep your gaming palate invigorated.

Step 4: The Pomodoro Player

Ever heard of the Pomodoro Technique? It's like high-intensity interval training but for gaming. Play for 25 minutes, then take a 5-minute break to do something wildly productive, like... making your bed, or, you know, stretching. This way, you're not only chipping away at your backlog but also pretending to be an adult with a sense of time management.

Step 5: The Buddy System

Nothing quite motivates like peer pressure. Find a fellow backlog-burdened buddy and challenge each other to weekly gaming goals. "I'll finish the first act of Divinity: Original Sin 2 if you finally start The Witcher 3." It's like having a gym buddy, but with more sitting and less spotting

Step 6: Embrace the Chaos

Lastly, it's okay to have a backlog. It means you’re optimistic about the future, about the time you'll have, and the adventures you'll embark on. Plus, in the event of an actual apocalypse, you’re set for entertainment.

So, there you have it, a survival guide for the Gamepocalypse. Remember, it's not about the size of your library, but the quality of your quests. Now, go forth and conquer that backlog, one game at a time. Or don't. After all, there's always another Steam sale around the corner.